So I’m at the end, the end of my living arrangements, the end of the pack up, it took about a month.

Yesterday I brought Us up to him. How did we get here? How did this happen? Why didn’t we communicate more? Why?

At first it was as if he didn’t want to talk about it like usual. I explained to him that I needed to know, how the two of us who are still respectful and cordial with each other, still living under the same roof, sleeping in the same bed, and having meals together just end our 25 year marriage without working on it jointly?

This boggles my mind, it’s not like either of us hate each other Even after everything we have been through.

Although he responded, it’s still a little shocking. He just didn’t want to do it anymore. Wow!! Thats all I have , Wow!

A lot of things go through my mind. Okay so you loved me but you’re not in love with me. anymore. Okay, I accept that and you’re being courteous out of genuinely caring and being a good human? Or is there an ulterior motive here?

There’s only a limit to my trust for him now. honestly, He hasn’t done anything to build on that. In fact, he’s done multiple things to make me question it more.

After I heard that I was sad. I cried. I also wiped my tears and changed my mindset.

Tomorrow is my moving day. My bed won’t arrive for a week later and I was going to stay in our house until my bed was delivered.

But now i think to myself, why would you stay? Why would you stay somewhere where you really aren’t even wanted. It’s only because you’re needed.

So when I leave tomorrow I will take all my stuff with me and only come back to pick up anything I couldn’t take with me originally that I want to take. We’re closing on the property in a couple weeks anyway.

It’s time to focus on just myself. Not worry about what’s going on with him. His health if he needs help doing anything he needs to figure all of that on his own because this was his choice. This is what he wanted. And in the end, I hope I see why this played out this way in my life. I pray that my new journey is filled with good health and happiness.

I am a good person with good values. I have a lot to give. I am very giving. And although those are my positive, I do have negative traits just like every other person.

Patths, journeys, new beginnings.