Not everything you lose is a loss.

Day 67…..I know this, I have healed and have grown a lot.  The pain is still there though if you still love.

I do love him and I probably always will, even though it’s over and we’ve moved on,  You can’t stop caring, or loving someone you built your life with for thirty years.

I’m at a better place in my life, meaning it’s more peaceful, calm, joyful.

However, triggers are real.  I had a call with my lawyer earlier today , she needed some Adderall information. Then she asked if we had a cut off date….A cut off date? I asked, then she went on to explain what that meant, but I was already triggered, it was a realization that I still struggle with, being divorced.

I filed for divorce,  we needed that to heal, move on, enjoy the rest of our lives without the chaos we were dealing with. Divorce though, I don’t know why, that word bothers me, and I guess because I love him still, it’s painful knowing that part of us will be ended, it won’t be us, my husband, his wife.